isn't the solution. Fun-yes-but not the answer. Maybe things will clear in a short while."
Now you may say, "Well what's the good of psychiatry if it leaves a guy as muddled up as that one?" All I can say is that psychiatry doesn't give all the answers. It merely helps a person understand himself a little better so that he can work out a philosophy which helps one solve problems or gives one enough courage to keep on hunting for solutions rather than giving up in despair. There simply are no cut and dried answers. Each person must work out his problems in his own unique way but it surely does help a lot to have some friends around who can listen to one's troubles. For years I have used the following poem as a sort of guide for each new patient that comes to
me.
FRIENDSHIP
Oh, the comfort the inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with a person, Having neither to weigh thoughts, Nor measure words but pouring them
All right out-just as they areChaff and grain togetherCertain that a faithful hand Will take and sift them-
Keep what is worth keepingAnd with the breath of kindness Blow the rest away!
Dinah Maria Mulock Craik
In order to find an ideal companion. I think one has to learn to be a good friend first. This requires a lot of honesty and a lot of patience and understanding. Certainly one of the greatest abilities is the art of listening. It is surprising how people bring you answers to your own problems if you can only learn to keep still and listen.
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Now, in closing, I would like to refer you to the letter which follows from B. J. W. of Austin, Texas. What do you think of his suggestions? Let us hear from those who read this column. What other suggestions do you have?
Gentlemen:
Sincerely,
Dr. Blanche
A friend of mine recently introduced me to your magazine and I was glad to see such good work was being done in the way of 'group therapy' for our homosexual group. I felt that I would like to contribute the following thoughts to those like myself who are still young and struggling through life.
Homosexuals as a group seem to be constantly searching for something. No one can tell you just what they want but all are sure that they 'will know it when they find it'. In actuality the invert seeks a type of 'social security' in a pattern of living where such security is well-nigh impossible. He wants the comforts of the heterosexual patterns without respecting the restraints of moderation, fidelity, and individual expression. This is a paradox. He wants everything and yet is willing to give nothing.
I myself faced this problem for many years and finally feel I have found a satisfactory solution. Homosexuals should cease to seek a social pattern based on the 'love' relationship. Instead they should cultivate the more lasting companionship of 'roommates'. I for one spent the best years of my life chasing after romantic involvement. It brought me nothing but disillusionment and an empty life.
Finally the idea of 'roommate' dawned on me. After all a room-
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